When I was in the 7th grade I went on a class trip to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA. It was then that I discovered that I suffered from terrible motion sickness! I rode the Loch Ness Monster twice at about 11am, and I was sick for the rest of the day. On the 4 hour bus ride home, I could not help but get sicker and sicker with each and every bump from the road. We stopped for dinner at McDonald's, and the bus driver would not let me stay on the bus. He made me go inside the McDonald's and watch the rest of my classmates enjoy their food while I got sicker and sicker with each and every passing second. By the time I got home, I was literally green in the face. I remember my parents telling me that when I got off the bus. At the time, I thought that would be the worst roller coaster experience of my life. And for 20+ years, it was.
Then little Emma was born 10 weeks early and went to the NICU. Ups and downs, ups and downs. That is how it has gone for the last 33 days. Emma will have many good days in a row followed by one or two bad ones. Recently she's been doing well in all areas except one: breathing. Her oxygen level has been creeping up over the last couple days. At this point they're not thinking it is anything serious. She's not showing any signs of an infection, as the only symptom she's exhibiting is the need for more and more oxygen. Her temperature is holding steady so they're not worried about that. They told us today that instead of a fever, babies actually drop their temperature when there is an infection. But hers is holding steady. If the situation doesn't resolve itself soon, they will do a chest x-ray to make sure there's no pneumonia or other type of infection. If they do find an infection they will give her antibiotics through an IV for 7 to 10 days and hopefully that will cure it.
We were told today that their best guess at this point is that it's just the latest bump in the road, another symptom of her lung disease of prematurity. She still doesn't need a ventilator and there are a good number of kids at this point who are still using that treatment. So we know that she's still doing better than other kids. But we don't care how she's doing in comparison to others. We want her condition to improve. This is just another example of a situation where we know that the doctors are on top of it, but we are still nervous about it. We had many good days in a row followed by this latest blip. Again, it's frustrating, but we also know they will fix it.
Other than that she really is doing very well. She's still on 24ml of milk every 3 hours and tolerating that very well. She gained weight again last night to 2 pounds 12 ounces, another ounce closer to her next milestone of 3 pounds. She continues to look better each and every day. We are absolutely amazed by the progress she continues to make in the NICU.
The difference in this roller coaster and the one that made me sick as a child is that I can't get off this one. Not until Emma is home. In the 7th grade when I got sick on that roller coaster, I woke up the next day feeling fine. Each day we wake up now we find ourselves still stuck on this roller coaster. We know that in the long run this is just a short term problem and we'll look back on it one day and think how short this time actually was. But right now it feels like an eternity. The last 33 days have aged each of us about 33 years! If I have any hair left after this, it will all be gray. But the reward will be bringing Emma home. We just have to remember the doctors' advice: take it one day at a time.
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